Hello! My name is Chie. I am likely to be the girl you'll see whose eyes would bulge out of their sockets at the sight of a book store and be seized by waves of epileptic shock whenever there is a book bargain. I'll probably be the one pushing you out of my way to get through the book bargain bins and tediously combing through the pile. (I forget my manners when it comes to books). I am tone deaf and have two left feet. But I would endure the embarrassment of a performance in exchange for books (terms and conditions apply). I have created this blog in order to find kindred souls. Those who would gladly share the same passion for books and reading because although reading is solitary task most of the time, it's no fun having no one to ramble to after..
In the course of three years that I have been reading and collecting books, it has enabled me to create a myriad of memories with them, not only because of the experiences I have gone through alongside them. I have been advised more than once to let go of my books. Some people say it outright whilst some do in subtle way. But I can't. They think because of the money I've invested in them. But it's not. It's way more than that. Money is replaceable. But books are not. Neither is it because of bragging rights. My collection is nothing but trivial to brag about. So no, it's not because I need to have more to brag about on Instagram and Facebook. There are reasons, real reasons why I can never let go of my books.
They are my anchor.
As a person with so many issues, I have attempted to end things up a handful of times already. It began with really doing it to simply thinking about it. Because every time I do, my books comfort me, the mere sight of them a patch of color in my black and white life. My books are more than just books. I live for them. They have become more than just a compilation of chapters and pages that contain a whole new different world. They have become a reason for me to keep going. Whenever I feel like giving up, of quitting, of ending my life, I simply glance at them and I start to realize just how much I have to lose if I let go. It's kind of funny, even, that I think it's more of a waste if I die and my books would be left untouched without heirs on my shelf, than taking my own life.
The fictional characters have become my real friends.
It may be a "joke" to some people, when they claim that fictional characters are their friends, but it does hold true for me. I have met and lost quite a couple of friends since I started college, to the extent where I felt so alone and devastated. The fictional characters in my books where the only ones who made me feel otherwise; that despite them not being real, the adventures and journeys that they have been in became my very own. Every time I read about them, I feel like I am right with them. I feel like I can confide just about anything in them because they cannot judge me, they cannot tell me in my face that I am downright wrong. They can always symphatise with me. And the best part is they never leave, well, unless they die, that is.
The stories distract me from depression
I have suffered from depression, perhaps I still do at times. Maybe not as grave compared to others', but it still did trigger me to do things I would regret after. Prior to my inclination to reading, I would always resort to self-harm. I would hit the wall multiple times until my knuckles are numb from pain. But ever since I became acquainted with the said activity, I would simply flop down my bed and read. I would become distracted with someone else's story, someone else's problems to solve that I would forget my own. So instead of dwelling on my loneliness that would only make me feel worse, I would turn to reading and I would read and read and read until I am finally prepared to let go of the pain.
These reasons may seem odd to you but they're utterly helpful. I know some would try to tell me that there is God, and that God is capable of doing all these for me but what if they're actually God's instruments?
In the course of three years that I have been reading and collecting books, it has enabled me to create a myriad of memories with them, not only because of the experiences I have gone through alongside them. I have been advised more than once to let go of my books. Some people say it outright whilst some do in subtle way. But I can't. They think because of the money I've invested in them. But it's not. It's way more than that. Money is replaceable. But books are not. Neither is it because of bragging rights. My collection is nothing but trivial to brag about. So no, it's not because I need to have more to brag about on Instagram and Facebook. There are reasons, real reasons why I can never let go of my books.
They are my anchor.
As a person with so many issues, I have attempted to end things up a handful of times already. It began with really doing it to simply thinking about it. Because every time I do, my books comfort me, the mere sight of them a patch of color in my black and white life. My books are more than just books. I live for them. They have become more than just a compilation of chapters and pages that contain a whole new different world. They have become a reason for me to keep going. Whenever I feel like giving up, of quitting, of ending my life, I simply glance at them and I start to realize just how much I have to lose if I let go. It's kind of funny, even, that I think it's more of a waste if I die and my books would be left untouched without heirs on my shelf, than taking my own life.
The fictional characters have become my real friends.
It may be a "joke" to some people, when they claim that fictional characters are their friends, but it does hold true for me. I have met and lost quite a couple of friends since I started college, to the extent where I felt so alone and devastated. The fictional characters in my books where the only ones who made me feel otherwise; that despite them not being real, the adventures and journeys that they have been in became my very own. Every time I read about them, I feel like I am right with them. I feel like I can confide just about anything in them because they cannot judge me, they cannot tell me in my face that I am downright wrong. They can always symphatise with me. And the best part is they never leave, well, unless they die, that is.
The stories distract me from depression
I have suffered from depression, perhaps I still do at times. Maybe not as grave compared to others', but it still did trigger me to do things I would regret after. Prior to my inclination to reading, I would always resort to self-harm. I would hit the wall multiple times until my knuckles are numb from pain. But ever since I became acquainted with the said activity, I would simply flop down my bed and read. I would become distracted with someone else's story, someone else's problems to solve that I would forget my own. So instead of dwelling on my loneliness that would only make me feel worse, I would turn to reading and I would read and read and read until I am finally prepared to let go of the pain.
These reasons may seem odd to you but they're utterly helpful. I know some would try to tell me that there is God, and that God is capable of doing all these for me but what if they're actually God's instruments?
